Hope everyone is finding happiness

So Kim and I are doing great. We are working right now on stream lining our food more to take out more and more processed Items. We are eating many fruits and veggies. We are eating lots of lean proteins. I realized this weekend that I am 90lbs lighter than my heaviest weight, even if it has taken longer than I wanted that is really cool. My physical identity is starting to be recognized as a fairly normal sized person. This is all a little new. I have been the big person for a long time.




Another thing I have been doing is working on my mind, brain, thinking, or processes that I have. I am finding ways to access my own peace and happiness that is from me not dictated by an outside source. I, for a long time relied on other people, or items, or situations to provide the happiness I wanted. I was often disappointed in counting on those sources because I had an expectation for them that they could not do. I know for many years I struggled to find forgiveness for people I have held responsible for hurting, or harming me. What I discovered is for me it was not forgiveness I needed to achieve. I had to open my mind and investigate how I felt, why I felt that way, how did I know to feel that way, and realize what I learned was incorrect and I had to change that.

finding focus

As I have said in earlier postings I am working kind of three goals discipline, balance, and peace. I have been practicing imbalance for about three weeks. I have lost focus on my goals and floundered a bit. The good news is that normally in this situation I would stray greatly and swing like a pendulum in extreme fashion because I am practiced at this. I have not gone backward I just stalled for a moment. I feel my focus return. I am still down 50lbs. this is a measure of my progress but not the goal itself. I am learning to adjust to change. I have been like I am for a long time and change is good but strange. I hope everyone who has contact with this is well and is getting everything from the world you need.